The Break-Up Artist by Philip Seigel

Title: The Break-Up Artist
Author: Philip Seigel
Rating: 2 stars

Synopsis: Some sixteen-year-olds babysit for extra cash.

Some work at the mall.

Becca Williamson breaks up couples.

Becca knows from experience the damage that love can do. After all, it was so-called love that turned Huxley from her childhood best friend into a social-world dictator, and love that left Becca's older sister devastated at the altar. Instead of sitting on the sidelines, Becca strikes back—for just one hundred dollars via PayPal, she will trick and manipulate any couple's relationship into smithereens. And with relationship zombies overrunning her school and treating single girls as if they're second-class citizens, business is unfortunately booming. Even Becca's best friend, Val, has resorted to outright lies to snag a boyfriend.

One night, Becca receives a mysterious offer to break up the most popular couple in school: Huxley and raw football team's star player, Steve. To succeed, she'll have to plan her most elaborate scheme to date—starting rumors, sabotaging cell phones, breaking into cars...not to mention sneaking back into Huxley's good graces. All while fending off the inappropriate feelings she may or may not be having for Val's new boyfriend.

No one said being the Break-Up Artist would be easy.

Cover: 

This book was...okay.

It was a stunning example of the slang phrase 'meh.'

And, despite what the back of the book would tell you, there were, in fact, clichés.

First off, I would like to acknowledge the peculiar fact that every single female in school couldn't have a single conversation where boys were not the topic. Every conversation was about either relationships or boys. What is wrong with the females there? Do they not have their own brains, hobbies, or interests? Have they somehow managed to be the only females on earth that have been completely and utterly submersed by pop-culture's view of relationships? 

There was on scene where Becca, the protagonist, went to the mall with Huxley, her current break-upee. I thought at the beginning of the scene that perhaps this would just be about fashion and maybe the two girls could hit it off with some nice reminiscing about their past--but no. Huxley dragged Becca to the mall so that she could get in a fight with Angela, her boyfriend's ex. 

Every single thing=boys. 

What else?

Oh, yes. Our dear protagonist, who seemed to be the only normal girl in the entirety of the school. She is adamantly opposed to the idea and the acting out of love and anything similar. She was developed minimally, and I think that this may have something to do with the author. I find that character development and the leading up to plot twists tend to be better written by female authors, at least with a female protagonist.

Philip Seigel wrote Becca like he was writing his dream woman, a woman who was a strong, strong soul among lessers until she manipulated and seduced by an evil other man, until the end when she finally overcomes the evilness of the other guy and decides to give love one last try with the nerdy boy who has only ever been kind to her.

WOMEN DO NOT THINK LIKE THAT, GOOD SIR.

The reason that this book has a two star rating instead of one star is because of one, simple reason:

Ezra.

I mean, there was one entire male in this book who was bad. I had to give the book a little something for that. *rolls eyes*

And even he was designed to bring shame to women, I mean, how did Becca not realize that at least a little something was wrong when he repeated the exact same words he had said to Val to her. 'I could see myself falling in love with you.' I mean, really? Really? How stupid do you have to be to fall head over heels in love with that line?

Becca, to me, seemed like a character who the plot line was changing with right up to that point. Then she became a puppet to the author's will. I stopped feeling Becca when she 'swooned' at Ezra's every freaking word.

Honestly, she ends up telling Val that there is no way she feels what she feels because Becca feels the same way.

"Are you really into Ezra? Genuinely?"

"Of course!"

"No, you're not!"

There's more to that conversation, too.

Maybe Seigel didn't know what he was doing when it came to the incredibly low intelligence and independence he granted women in this book, but it definitely came off as sexist to me. Talk about the stereotypical view of high school and the teenage years: ooooh, girls love boys and boys dump girls. Girls cry for hours and never forget about their 'one true love.' 

Oh, cry me a river.

And Steve and Huxley? Loved her view of them in the beginning. 

I don't know what happened there at the end...really, true love? He was cheating on her! I mean, honestly, did even the author forget about the texts she found on Steve's phone? And I quote:

There's a chain of text messages attached to it. I read them about twenty times and hold on to the edge of teh Jacuzzi for support. My head spins, and I haven't even had a drink yet. 

Angela: Hey, thanks for the coffee.

Steve: It was so good seeing you.

Angela: When are you going to tell Huxley about us?

Steve: Soon. I promise.

And this is all completely forgotten afterwards? I don't know, maybe he was talking about them...as in when they were dating years and years ago? Hmmm....

It got to the point where even Becca got as pathetic as Seigel described the other women being. The one rational character sees someone she can't have? It must be love.

Good idea, it just sort of went horribly wrong when it got on paper. I would actually recommend this book to people who are polar opposite of feminists, enjoy your protagonist to be the only sane person--until they're not--and if they like blackmail in books. There was quite a bit of that, as well.

xxAvalon